While cleaning out files came across many things from teaching school. One of the things was an announcement I had written for the principal to read over the PA system.
The other special area teachers had bet me that I couldn't get our principal to read a really stupid announcement. ( He didn't have much of a sense of humor when it came to looking silly) Well, game on!.....
They didn't think it could be done but I had great confidence that it could be pulled off.
I usually had an announcement to be read once a week or so anyway when I needed kids to bring in specific items ,so an announcement from me was nothing new.
I created a double-sided announcement. The front said "Newspapers are needed in the art room. Anyone-"
(Then it had to be turned over to read the rest.) which said- "have their hair dyed green should report to the art room at lunch time!"
Well, all of us hid in the gym during morning announcements, waiting with baited breath. Sure enough he began reading my innocuous announcement, then got to the back of it. There was the longest pregnant pause in the history of man. He didn't know what to do but knew he had been had. So he finally read it as written as fast as he possibly could. We were all laughing hysterically; you could probably hear us throughout the building. He (the principal) ended up not speaking to me for a week. But..I won the bet and he finally forgave me.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Getting into trouble..
Got in trouble a LOT as a kid. My brother and I were never at a loss finding something to do that we shouldn't. I actually think we may have gotten spanked at least every other day. But it really didn't deter us!
The biggest bone of contention with my Dad was tree climbing . Unfortunately we tended to break off limbs and he didn't like that. I remember he told us "I don't want to see you climbing any more trees!" So.. we only climbed them while he was at work. We would check the clock to make sure he "didn't see us climbing trees." It was too much fun.
When my Mom was really tired of dealing with us she would often give us a pitcher of water and a little pile of dirt and let us make mud pies. I loved it!- probably why I like working with clay so much now!
Except one day she went in the house and left us alone too long.....
We got bored with mud pies and started smearing the mud on each other- at first just a little- then it was full fledged mud slinging. I had really long hair at the time and my brother decided to shampoo my hair with mud. I remember we were doing the "mud daubers' waltz" ( the only time I ever waltzed with my brother, actually)
when my Mom came out to see what we were doing. I think you could have heard her scream from miles away! We were covered from head to toe. I remember she would spank me, then she would wash my hair, then she would sob, then repeat the process until I was finally clean. It took a really long time :) That was the last of the mud pies!
Don't remember much about my sister except we always fought over who had to rinse the dishes- the washer or the dryer? We had to fight silently so as not to disturb my Dad. It was a real cat fight with hissing and scratching. She even filed her nails to points once in preparation for the daily battle.
I remember my folks got in a really big fight once because my mom got really annoyed at my brother while we were outside in the garden. She threw a rotten tomato at him and it hit him in the side of the head. I thought it was the BEST thing that ever happened but my Dad considered it child abuse. (Even though it only hurt his- my brother's- pride) I thought my Mom had pretty darn good aim.
Actually the last time I ever remember getting in trouble was when I was about 11 or 12. My brother called me a "skank." I calmly took off my sweater, turned it til the buttons were on the outside and proceeded to flog him with it . My parents thought I overreacted but he had been baiting me for some time and I was sick and tired of it!! BTW I really didn't have an anger management issue even though it may sound like it. I was always pretty even keel and it took a lot to upset me.
It's wonderful we all get along so well now. I guess my parents did a pretty good job under the circumstances. They have enjoyed watching the grandkids provide the "paybacks."
The biggest bone of contention with my Dad was tree climbing . Unfortunately we tended to break off limbs and he didn't like that. I remember he told us "I don't want to see you climbing any more trees!" So.. we only climbed them while he was at work. We would check the clock to make sure he "didn't see us climbing trees." It was too much fun.
When my Mom was really tired of dealing with us she would often give us a pitcher of water and a little pile of dirt and let us make mud pies. I loved it!- probably why I like working with clay so much now!
Except one day she went in the house and left us alone too long.....
We got bored with mud pies and started smearing the mud on each other- at first just a little- then it was full fledged mud slinging. I had really long hair at the time and my brother decided to shampoo my hair with mud. I remember we were doing the "mud daubers' waltz" ( the only time I ever waltzed with my brother, actually)
when my Mom came out to see what we were doing. I think you could have heard her scream from miles away! We were covered from head to toe. I remember she would spank me, then she would wash my hair, then she would sob, then repeat the process until I was finally clean. It took a really long time :) That was the last of the mud pies!
Don't remember much about my sister except we always fought over who had to rinse the dishes- the washer or the dryer? We had to fight silently so as not to disturb my Dad. It was a real cat fight with hissing and scratching. She even filed her nails to points once in preparation for the daily battle.
I remember my folks got in a really big fight once because my mom got really annoyed at my brother while we were outside in the garden. She threw a rotten tomato at him and it hit him in the side of the head. I thought it was the BEST thing that ever happened but my Dad considered it child abuse. (Even though it only hurt his- my brother's- pride) I thought my Mom had pretty darn good aim.
Actually the last time I ever remember getting in trouble was when I was about 11 or 12. My brother called me a "skank." I calmly took off my sweater, turned it til the buttons were on the outside and proceeded to flog him with it . My parents thought I overreacted but he had been baiting me for some time and I was sick and tired of it!! BTW I really didn't have an anger management issue even though it may sound like it. I was always pretty even keel and it took a lot to upset me.
It's wonderful we all get along so well now. I guess my parents did a pretty good job under the circumstances. They have enjoyed watching the grandkids provide the "paybacks."
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Babysitters
My parents rarely got babysitters for us kids as we were too hard on them. The first babysitter I remember was named Jackie. She lived across the road from us, the oldest of 8 children. I remember my Mom and Dad giving us very specific directions as to what we were NOT to do. We could barely wait for them to leave so we could do all the taboo things! As soon as they got out of sight we would begin by squealing and jumping on the couch. We progressed from there. Jackie often cried. We would beg her not to tell on us. I distinctly remember the last time she sat for us. My brother stuck a screw driver in an electrical outlet, got shocked and blew out all the fuses in the house.We sat in the dark until Mom and Dad got back.
After that we had my aunts ( my mom has four sisters). They all took turns spending the summer watching us when my mom was going to school.( Although sometimes my brother and I got to go with her and sit in the library at U.D. while she was at class. We were afraid of the nuns and were quite good!)
When my Mom finished her teaching degree and went to work we had a progression of "nannies".
The one I remember most was Ollie, a tall skinny woman, who was a dead ringer for Flo from TV. She used snuff but thought we didn't know. She was very tightly wound. She was with us 2 years I think, but finally had to give up her post due to extreme anxiety and stress. My sister had a habit of running outside naked which caused Ollie to scream. I really didn't like her (Ollie). I must have been about 8 the summer I tried to run over her with my bike. I was totally chagrined as she jumped safely out of the way at the last minute! That was the same summer that my brother and I got into a fight and he dared me to stab him with a steak knife. He even went and got one and handed it to me. (I don't think I really would have done it....but I gave it some serious consideration ). That put her over the edge. She begged my folks to take her to the Greyhound Bus Station.
There were others that were short-lived. The last one I remember was a rotund lady named Katie, who wore her hair in braids wrapped around her head. She liked to chew gum and would s-t-r-e-t-c-h it out about 2 feet in front of her and then pop it back into her mouth over and over . We were fascinated. She didn't work out though, as she had a nasty habit of spitting in the sink and wouldn't do what my mom told her.
Finally I was old enough to be the baby sitter for my little brother who was 12 years younger. I took care of him when my mom taught summer school. I remember he always spit up milk thru his nose... and I can still hear that wee little voice (in my head) wailing.."Gail, come and wipe me!," when he was on the potty. Woohoo!
After that we had my aunts ( my mom has four sisters). They all took turns spending the summer watching us when my mom was going to school.( Although sometimes my brother and I got to go with her and sit in the library at U.D. while she was at class. We were afraid of the nuns and were quite good!)
When my Mom finished her teaching degree and went to work we had a progression of "nannies".
The one I remember most was Ollie, a tall skinny woman, who was a dead ringer for Flo from TV. She used snuff but thought we didn't know. She was very tightly wound. She was with us 2 years I think, but finally had to give up her post due to extreme anxiety and stress. My sister had a habit of running outside naked which caused Ollie to scream. I really didn't like her (Ollie). I must have been about 8 the summer I tried to run over her with my bike. I was totally chagrined as she jumped safely out of the way at the last minute! That was the same summer that my brother and I got into a fight and he dared me to stab him with a steak knife. He even went and got one and handed it to me. (I don't think I really would have done it....but I gave it some serious consideration ). That put her over the edge. She begged my folks to take her to the Greyhound Bus Station.
There were others that were short-lived. The last one I remember was a rotund lady named Katie, who wore her hair in braids wrapped around her head. She liked to chew gum and would s-t-r-e-t-c-h it out about 2 feet in front of her and then pop it back into her mouth over and over . We were fascinated. She didn't work out though, as she had a nasty habit of spitting in the sink and wouldn't do what my mom told her.
Finally I was old enough to be the baby sitter for my little brother who was 12 years younger. I took care of him when my mom taught summer school. I remember he always spit up milk thru his nose... and I can still hear that wee little voice (in my head) wailing.."Gail, come and wipe me!," when he was on the potty. Woohoo!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Little dick
My daughter left me her dog, Biscuit, and cat, Kitty Kitty, this weekend while she and her boyfriend took off to commune with nature at a cabin in the Hocking Hills. I had just gotten a dog myself 4 days previously. His name is Dakota. He is little (20 #) but very quick. Wasn't sure how the dogs would get along... My dog decided to have what I can only describe as a "hump fest "with Biscuit. I must have pulled him off Biscuit at least 50 times the first hour. It was embarassing! Then Biscuit would get fed up and they would fight; then I'd have to separate them again. At times they would play but then the orgy would start again.
I decided that my dog should be nicknamed "little dick".. I was constantly yelling.."Leave him alone you little dick!" I had one rawhide bone that they got into a big tussle over. So I went to the store and bought 6 more. They still fought over them. Dakota stockpiled them and Biscuit took one; it was like World War III broke out! I wanted to cry when I wasn't laughing hysterically.
Meanwhile the cat took up residence on the topmost ledge in the kitchen, watching all the commotion and doggie porn from a safe distance.She stayed there all of Fri. and Sat. But turned up in my bedroom on Sunday and crapped on my bathroom rug just to let me know how she felt about everything.
Thankfully Leslie came home early as their cabin was the cabin from hell. I guess everything that could go wrong did- cobwebs, wasp nests, wet firewood , stagnant water in the paddle boat, etc.,( I tried not to be too happy about all that!) Anyway she picked up her "family" while I was at church. I would love to have had a video of the whole scenario. This is how she described it:
According to her she got in the front door to be greeted by 2 jumping dogs who tried their best to get out as she was coming in. She got in and shut the door. By this time the cat had crawled under my bed as far away as possible. Leslie said she began by extricating the cat. She had to shut herself in the bedroom and crawl under the bed herself and drag out the yowling, squirming animal. After a huge tussle and some scratches she finally got her into the cat carrier! Then to wrangle the dogs.... She managed to cut Biscuit out of the herd and got him into the back seat of her car. She thought she had shut the front door but somehow Dakota nosed it open and ran out. Thankfully he didn't run away but stupidly tried to get into the car himself. So she opened the front door and he hopped in. Then he did his "pinball on steroids" imitation and jumped from front seat to back seat to front seat, etc.,. Les said he was like a "puggle on crack." You get the picture. She finally wrestled him down and out of the car. She referred to him as "Your little wiener" She said " I had your little wiener under my arm and was getting him out of the car when Biscuit got out and I noticed him sitting in the grass. He had a look like-"dare I run away??" " Luckily he was too fascinated by the wrestling match between Les and "my little wiener" and she was able to grab him. She finally got him back into the car and Dakota back into the house and the cat and carrier into the car. She was quite disheveled.
When I got home all was peaceful (like the calm after a tornado) and Dakota was asleep on the couch looking quite innocent. Leslie said " it has been the weekend from hell" and I would tend to agree. I shall be spending the rest of it restoring my house to order.... and washing the bathroom rug.
I decided that my dog should be nicknamed "little dick".. I was constantly yelling.."Leave him alone you little dick!" I had one rawhide bone that they got into a big tussle over. So I went to the store and bought 6 more. They still fought over them. Dakota stockpiled them and Biscuit took one; it was like World War III broke out! I wanted to cry when I wasn't laughing hysterically.
Meanwhile the cat took up residence on the topmost ledge in the kitchen, watching all the commotion and doggie porn from a safe distance.She stayed there all of Fri. and Sat. But turned up in my bedroom on Sunday and crapped on my bathroom rug just to let me know how she felt about everything.
Thankfully Leslie came home early as their cabin was the cabin from hell. I guess everything that could go wrong did- cobwebs, wasp nests, wet firewood , stagnant water in the paddle boat, etc.,( I tried not to be too happy about all that!) Anyway she picked up her "family" while I was at church. I would love to have had a video of the whole scenario. This is how she described it:
According to her she got in the front door to be greeted by 2 jumping dogs who tried their best to get out as she was coming in. She got in and shut the door. By this time the cat had crawled under my bed as far away as possible. Leslie said she began by extricating the cat. She had to shut herself in the bedroom and crawl under the bed herself and drag out the yowling, squirming animal. After a huge tussle and some scratches she finally got her into the cat carrier! Then to wrangle the dogs.... She managed to cut Biscuit out of the herd and got him into the back seat of her car. She thought she had shut the front door but somehow Dakota nosed it open and ran out. Thankfully he didn't run away but stupidly tried to get into the car himself. So she opened the front door and he hopped in. Then he did his "pinball on steroids" imitation and jumped from front seat to back seat to front seat, etc.,. Les said he was like a "puggle on crack." You get the picture. She finally wrestled him down and out of the car. She referred to him as "Your little wiener" She said " I had your little wiener under my arm and was getting him out of the car when Biscuit got out and I noticed him sitting in the grass. He had a look like-"dare I run away??" " Luckily he was too fascinated by the wrestling match between Les and "my little wiener" and she was able to grab him. She finally got him back into the car and Dakota back into the house and the cat and carrier into the car. She was quite disheveled.
When I got home all was peaceful (like the calm after a tornado) and Dakota was asleep on the couch looking quite innocent. Leslie said " it has been the weekend from hell" and I would tend to agree. I shall be spending the rest of it restoring my house to order.... and washing the bathroom rug.
Friday, September 2, 2011
The Colonoscopy- don't try this!
Having a very sensitive gag reflex didn't bode well for me when I was facing my first colonoscopy. I'd seen the gallon of chalky liquid people had to drink in preparation and knew I could never do it. I did some research and found that pills were available. So I asked for them instead, patting myself on the back, thinking I was really smart. ( I'm not really a very good pill taker either, having once INHALED a birth control pill! That was really unpleasant- it burned for hours.)
Anyway I picked up the Rx and found to my dismay 26 chalky pills each the size of TEXAS!! They were too big to swallow. So after much effort I finally managed to break each one in half. So... there they lay.....now 52 pills each about the size of OHIO. The directions sounded simple. Take the first 8 (that would now be 16), then 15 minutes later take 8 (16) more, etc, until they were all taken. Well.......finally got the first set down, one at a time but it took the entire 15 minutes for that to happen1 Time for the next set! Let the gagging begin.. Don't remember if I got them all down- probably not- I've blocked it out of my mind. Never tried the pills again and never will! Bring on the liquid! Won't eat for 2 days before so I'll be so hungry it will be easy to delude myself. I'll chill the stuff and make believe it's a milkshake. Or maybe there will be a new test soon that doesn't require the prep. And definitely a new doc- don't EVER want to wake up in the middle of the procedure again. It was very unpleasant... from beginning to shall we say "the end."
Anyway I picked up the Rx and found to my dismay 26 chalky pills each the size of TEXAS!! They were too big to swallow. So after much effort I finally managed to break each one in half. So... there they lay.....now 52 pills each about the size of OHIO. The directions sounded simple. Take the first 8 (that would now be 16), then 15 minutes later take 8 (16) more, etc, until they were all taken. Well.......finally got the first set down, one at a time but it took the entire 15 minutes for that to happen1 Time for the next set! Let the gagging begin.. Don't remember if I got them all down- probably not- I've blocked it out of my mind. Never tried the pills again and never will! Bring on the liquid! Won't eat for 2 days before so I'll be so hungry it will be easy to delude myself. I'll chill the stuff and make believe it's a milkshake. Or maybe there will be a new test soon that doesn't require the prep. And definitely a new doc- don't EVER want to wake up in the middle of the procedure again. It was very unpleasant... from beginning to shall we say "the end."
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