Canoe trips

I really would like to block  all those canoe trips out of my mind! Driving past Mad River today brought the memories flooding back. First let me state for the record, that I have NO IDEA how to paddle a canoe. Nevertheless I have spent many HOURS doing just that- mainly thanks to friend, Dave.
We used to go on camping trips as a family with his family; our kids were the same age. However, Dave is a gung-ho camping-nature enthusiast who was an Eagle Scout and never lets you forget it. He is also the kind of person who has to wring the absolute MOST out of any trip or adventure.(It is his fault I went on the Magnum at Cedar Point and have never been the same since).  Now I can pretty much identify with that aspect of a vacation. Being a type A personality I'm up at the crack of dawn, not wanting to miss a minute of my precious vacation time. My family always hated me because they wanted to SLEEP, can you imagine that?! I say you can sleep at home!
Anyway, we went on many canoe adventures around Ohio together. I have scars on my left hand to prove it- having been run through sharp overhanging tree branches by my illustrous ex-husband who also did not know how to paddle a canoe.( If I hadn't leaned back and covered my eyes I would  now be blind!) As it was I dripped blood from my hand the entire trip- lucky there were no pirhannas!
Dave always insisted that we take the LONGEST possible canoe trip offered. I would have been somewhat happy to canoe for an hour- but, no! It was always a 5-6 hour minimum trip. (during which time I constantly felt like throwing up) I don't like floating through water that 1.  I don't know how deep it is and 2. can't see what's in it. and 3. haven't a clue what I'm doing.
I remember the first time our oldest kids had their own canoe. They got hung up on a big log at the edge of Mad River. The river was full of obstacles due to a heavy storm prior to our trip. The girls were screaming for help- panicked. I just looked at them sadly as we floated by because we had no idea how to STOP our canoe or how to turn around let alone HELP them. I felt like such a terrible mom. But Dave saved the day.. he and his wife paddled back and extricated them.
The first time we stopped for a potty break in the weeds was interesting.. it was in poison ivy. Luckily I don't get poison ivy but everyone else did!
The time we overturned and I was in mud up to my knees trying to turn the heavy canoe upright I would definitely like to forget. Had a lot of bruises from that one. I also think I cried.
I do recall our Mohican trip with some laughter, though. It was actually a church family camp out. One couple floated by that had never canoed before. The husband was dsylexic and when the wife yelled paddle right he would paddle left. I thought they were going to divorce right in the middle of the river! I distinctly remember another couple floating by and hearing the husband refer to his wife as "lizard lips" It all made me feel so much better.When we did get to the midway point, The wife of the dyslexic husband jumped out of the canoe and insisted that she would walk the 3 miles back. She said she was not getting back into the canoe with him EVER! Me- I always stuck it out to the bitter end!  Never wanted to show the white feather in front of the kids. (They love canoeing so I guess I did something right). I'd be open to actually learning to canoe someday! :)